Can a job destroy your sense of motivation, well-being and even self-worth? Those are strong words, I know. I’ve worked with many people who were staying put in a role, and that’s how they described it.
Clients come into career coaching feeling confused and frustrated, struggling to recognise themselves or see a solution. You might see yourself in this too. These are the sorts of situations you might be dealing with:
- You used to love your role, but your new manager has a totally different style.
- There’s no possibility of progression, or you’re not motivated by the progression that’s on the table.
- The company was bought out or went through significant changes, and it’s no longer a good fit.
- You don’t have the level of collaboration or connection you used to have.
- The version of the job you were sold isn’t matching your experience now you’re on board.
- The culture has become increasingly toxic, with unrealistic workloads and poor management.
You’re proactive about your career, but there’s only so much you can do
You might come to coaching because you’ve tried to change the things you have influence over. Perhaps you’ve spoken to your manager, raised concerns, been proactive about adjusting your workload or setting boundaries.
You’ve considered the alternatives too, looking at other roles internally, putting the feelers out for a job change. But – for whatever reason – you’ve decided this just isn’t going to work. You’re stuck.
The external challenges are very real. Between rough job markets, potential salary reductions, perceived damage to your reputation… It’s totally understandable to feel uncertain.
How risky is it to not make a career move??
Sometimes it’s the right choice to stay put, despite the personal impact.
It’s not my place as a coach to imagine which choice is right – you are the expert on your situation.
There comes a point when we have to frankly assess the cost of staying. There may be real risks in making a career move, but what’s truly at risk for you if you stay put?
- Slowly normalising a daily experience of low motivation at work.
- Dealing with stress, and trying to hide or suppress it.
- Biting your tongue when there’s bad behaviour or an unhealthy culture.
- Going against your values.
- Losing energy and motivation, and beginning to lose confidence.
Finding new perspectives on your career, even when you feel stuck
Invariably, you can remember a time when you were inspired, energised and excited about work. But perhaps you’ve cut off from that version of yourself, because you don’t feel you have a choice.
An internal perspective shift can open up new possibilities. Sometimes, even the process of allowing ourselves to imagine and think differently can bring a new burst of optimism.
We see something differently, and somehow there’s a different path forward, a risk that’s worth taking.
Trying on a new perspective is also a great way of taking action to get unstuck, without creating real-life consequences.
Coaching questions to shift your perspective
Try some of these suggestions and see if you can ‘unstick’ your thinking:
- List out your fears about making a change (some common ones are: nobody is hiring, I'll never get this salary elsewhere, it's too late to change career path etc.).
- List out the consequences that staying put is having, or might have down the line (common ones are: lack of motivation, depression, disconnection from team etc.)
- Research your fears more fully from a neutral perspective - are they objectively true? Are there any exceptions? What else might be true?
- Take some no-risk steps towards alternatives. (set up some conversations, get some mentoring, interview for a new role even if you don't take it).
- Consider your emotional resilience and strength. What's the worst possible outcome of you making a change? If that worst outcome happened, what would you do next? How would you deal with it?
Most people are positively surprised when they remember their own resourcefulness and capacity to deal with any potential failure or regret.
It’s easier to take action when you realise that an imperfect outcome isn’t the end of the road.
