When you know your own worth deep down you do not need anyone to tell you. You do not need anyone to believe good things about you. When you’re walking with self love in your heart you do not need to convince anyone to love you.
The child who placates, who tries hard, who wants to control the situation – is cared for by you and you alone.
When you have that child and hold them you do not need to stay there in that place. That place that wonders whether a compliment was for real, that place that waits for the phone to ring or laughs along to a joke that doesn’t feel right. That place that has fear of consequences – what will they think if I say what’s true?
Any sense of shame at who you are must go. This is not time to be held back by the imprints of the past. By the memories of punishment, of staying small, of being judged. This is a time for reckless reinvention, because we are all needed now in our wholeness.
This means tirelessly loving yourself. In your most vulnerable moments where you feel doubt and the red hot flush of “I am wrong” rising deep within…. In the moments where you realise you’ve let someone down. In the moments where you betrayed yourself and saw that you expected too little. In these moments especially, where is your love for yourself? Where is your compassion?
Can it be a small ember in a black fire pit? Can it be a drop in the ocean? Can it be one tiny step towards a different way?
When you remember that the shame and the blame and the feeling less-than comes from the child, perhaps something can move. Feel it. Let those feelings rise and blossom like ink clouds in water. They are real and they are now.
In good time find some holy water from a well that lives deep inside you (it does). Find a wise one inside who can tend this child who feels small, who believes that they are defined by someone else’s opinion of them. Bless that little one and just love them. Unconditionally.