The perfect vision of an idea as yet un-lived is a glorious thing. And sinister in its untouched beauty.
The joy and excitement as genius touches my shoulder and whispers to me. The thrill of what is yet to come and the ease of imagining how it will be.
I remember my frustration as a child when I was drawing pictures. One particular time when I was about 9 years old I had a vision of a woman sitting on a windowsill by her garden. She had an elegant straw hat on and was stroking a cat in the sunshine. I was inspired by the beauty of the image and excited to replicate it in my artwork.
Then there is was. With the pencil in my hand and the smooth paper in front of me, a drawing emerged that – however many times I erased it and started again – fell woefully short of my dream. I felt frustrated and disappointed as I realised that my imagination had surpassed my drawing abilities.
It’s only looking back that I realise I would look at those drawings I did at nine years old and fall in love with them. They would be a hundred times more delightful than that perfect postcard image of the garden I had in my mind’s eye back then. But at the time, I ditched the idea and threw down my tools to go and pursue something else.
I see those echos today of the thrill of a new idea and the sinking feeling when I realise that it’s not going to be the way I imagined it.
And I choose to rekindle the thrill. The thrill of what truly is possible, of the surprises that come when I let go of that ‘perfect’ image. Trying to replicate some divine vision that I have to then hold myself to is a fast track to beating myself up and abandoning reality.
I realise now that the disappointment does not mean that I am falling short of something better. It means that I am making things real. Making real life. Playing the human game where I am imperfect, unique, learning.
So dream those big, shining dreams and bring them down into being in whatever way they wish to come. Be kind and patient with yourself and allow yourself to be surprised and enchanted by your creations, whatever they may be.